you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
