dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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