We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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