You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
