Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
