I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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