Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
