i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
