If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
