wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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