I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
