And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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