She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
