girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
