I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
