best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
