All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
