why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize