so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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