Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
