I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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