I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
