take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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