I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize