Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Im part way to drunk.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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