yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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