I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
