i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
