wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
