it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
