So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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