Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
