in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
