You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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