bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
