you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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