so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
