what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
