omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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