Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
