Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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