hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
