Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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