i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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