we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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