I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
