went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
