i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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