Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
