I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
