What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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