was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
