He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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