just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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