i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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