i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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