Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
