What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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