I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize