You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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