is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
